I LOVE my friends and family. They are awesome and I am eternally grateful to them for helping me deal with the ups and downs of this healing journey.
Initially, I was hesitant to call people and ask for help. I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. To this day, I sometimes still feel guilty that my handicap is an inconvenience. Once the pressure wound diagnosis hit, my guilt began to escalate. I was inconveniencing my family and friends and I hated it.
But, conversations I’ve had with my friend Megan McDowell, Founder and Executive Director of Heartworks, have helped ease my guilt and have also given me a new perspective on accepting help.
Heartworks is a local grassroots movement of women committed to replicating and sustaining the palpable kindness witnessed in the wake of September 11th. Inspired by the healing that takes place through receiving and giving, we offer hope to people experiencing acute illness, injury, or grief, while taking part in our own self-growth.
As a Heartworker who is grateful and honored to help others, I have also been in the position to learn the lessons and blessings of receiving help … not just once, but twice. The first time was in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, when Heartworks helped ease our stress of being displaced from our home for a couple of weeks. The second time–which actually feels like countless times with all of the kindness Heartworks has shown my family and me throughout the past year–is this healing journey of mine.
As a person who needs more help than usual because of a physical handicap, I am happy to be able to offer help to others as a Heartworker. It fills me up like nothing else.
Now, I am on the other side of the coin and need even more help. At first, I had trouble accepting it because of the aforementioned guilt over inconveniencing people.
Thankfully, while on bed rest, I have been able to attend Heartworks meetings via Skype. This way, I was able to hear and be reminded of the message consistently expressed by Megan at each meeting, as well as in our personal conversations: Helping others and feeling needed gives people joy and deep satisfaction. So, when you accept people’s help, you are not inconveniencing them. You are helping them feel good.
Currently in my twelfth month on bed rest, people often tell me they think I must be going stir crazy. But that is not the case. My family and friends keep me busy and happy with all their visits and I have met many new friends through Heartworks and social media. In fact, a schedule is in place wherein at least one Heartworker per week comes to our home and brings a lunch to share with me. So more than anything else, I feel blessed, AND spiritually, emotionally and physically well fed. 😉
So, as for getting by with a LOT of help from my friends AND family … I am not just getting by … I AM THRIVING.
I would love to hear your experiences with and thoughts and feeling about asking for help. Please share in the comment section below.
In Love and Friendship,